Fat Kid Tendencies

Now that I have given you the reclaimed meaning of Fat Kid, I feel it is necessary to explain the implications that come along with such a term. As a recap: Fat Kid no longer is about shame or overindulgence, it is now a term of endearment. A Fat Kid is one who celebrates sustenance in all its forms. Please see my earlier post, I’m A Fat Kid, for further schooling in the area or if you misplaced the notes you took from the first time you read it.

Now on to Fat Kid Tendencies, hereto after known as FKTs. FKTs are simply thoughts and behaviors that show your love of food. They vary by situation. Some are spelled out in the original post. A lot of them you perform on a daily basis and you don’t even realize it. Maybe you read “I’m a Fat Kid” and you aren’t quite ready to reclaim the term with us. That’s okay. I invite you to be a border dweller. You may not feel comfortable calling yourself a Fat Kid, but some of your behaviors tend toward Fat Kid. Hence, Fat Kid Tendencies.

To kick off this conversation of FKTs I am going to tell you about my niece. I could talk about my whole family as we are ALL Fat Kids, but this one takes the cake. Literally. This chick was almost 10lbs when she was born. Her poor mother was suffering carrying this one and The Big O came out eating. She’s 15 months old now and she weighs about as much as her 4-year-old sister. In The Monster’s defense, she is petite like her mother, but The Big O takes no prisoners. You should see her.

We went to dinner tonight to celebrate my mom’s birthday. There were 6 of us in seats and The Big O in a high chair. I sat next to her so her parents could eat in peace. The waitress came out, took our order and I can honestly say I have never seen this baby so happy. She was literally wiggling and dancing in her high chair at the sight of all the food. Chick was clapping and smiling. She was making eyes at the waitress and pointing at her. She doesn’t talk yet, but I think that means she approves. O was begging for food off my plate. She was super happy because she loves food. She was celebrating sustenance. The Big O is 15 months old and she’s a Fat Kid out for my heart.

The point is, her behavior in the restaurant reminded me of all the things we Fat Kids do to celebrate food. The following is a list of things I came up with and have collected for some time. If you find yourself smiling and laughing at any of it, you definitely have Fat Kid Tendencies:

  • Having the number(s) to your favorite take out places programmed in your phone
  • Designing meals around condiments (I.e. you make french fries when you want ketchup)
  • Justifying getting more food because you have extra ketchup (or any condiment) on your plate
  • Biting your finger when mindlessly consuming finger food (you know you’ve done it)
  • Knowing how to say “I’m hungry” or “Let’s eat” in more than one language
  • Starting a kick ass food blog with your fellow food loving friend
  • From @Newilli – Dancing or rocking in your chair when eating something delicious
  • From @NJRugger45 – Planning your day around the city or even your trip around the world based on where you’ll eat.
  • Also from @NJRugger45 – Being an evangelist for one or more of your favorite food spots. “Oh my gosh, what do you mean you haven’t had Rangoon’s basil tofu? You have to go!”
  • Pausing after taking your first bite of something amazing and saying “Oh My God” with your mouth full. Double points if simultaneously performed with a fellow Fat Kid.
  • In ‘N Out Burger. Nuff said.
  • Scraping the bottom of a bowl of ice cream or container of yogurt as If scraping it will magically make more appear
  • Owning more than five cookbooks
  • Being the author of a cookbook
  • When Philly natives who have relocated to other parts of the country fly back home and stop to get a cheesesteak on the way home from Philadelphia International Airport. (They are THAT serious. The Cheesesteaks, I mean)
  • Having the occupation: Food Critic
  • Working out in preparation for eating mass quantities of food – this one was inspired by @hillharper who posted a Tweet before Christmas saying that he was going to the gym to lose weight in preparation for all the food he was going to eat during the holiday season.
  • JCB adds – having a foodie “O Face” – an involuntary and sometimes goofy look you make when first biting into something divine.  Similar to the sexy time “O Face” in that it may include flared nostrils, curled lips, or odd sideways glances.  (I LOVE THIS ONE!)

I could really go on and this list will continue to grow. Every day there is the chance to experience or hear about another FKT. Do you have any to add?

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Olithechef says:

    HA! You are my favorite twitter find this month! I’ve never laughed so much at a blog reading. I’m actually wiping tears with the injured finger from biting it earlier today as I picked food out of my way too expensive pot. ::bow:: You have a new fan.

    1. cooktivism says:

      That just gave me a super happy! Bandage that puppy up and keep on keepin’ on my friend! 🙂

  2. Mom says:

    In spite of the proven theories on the health related issues involved in their use, you still prepare your favorite “soul foods” using ham hocks and/or fat back. Honestly, you prefer it that way!

  3. MaraBG says:

    As a non-FKT, but the wife of a thin FKT (don’t we just hate his kind?), I was fascinated by your list. Ketchup? Seriously? The only one that resonated with me was the “Oh My God” exclamation after taking a bite of something delicious. I usually do this when the cook (or the friend who recommended the dish) is watching me, and waiting for my reaction. I love to cook, but am fine with a bowl of oatmeal.

    What your blog did is describe the obsession with food, and how it is much like that of alcohol or drugs. You delivered a very humorous look at a serious problem. Thank you. And, thank you to Olithechef for sharing your blog with me.

    1. cooktivism says:

      Thanks for posting Mara! You are right, we write about food – good tasting, usually healthy, often vegetarian, food. And yes, sometimes greasy and sugary things tempt us…but why shouldn’t they? If someone wants to eat healthy most of the time but indulges in something, that’s not an addiction or an obsession. It is a choice. Obesity is a real health concern and we should all strive to be healthy but simply being thin does not mean one is healthy. Some of the unhealthiest habits I’ve seen are practiced by thin people, especially thin women.

      We’ve reclaimed the term “fat kid” – it has nothing to do with what size you are or how much food you consume. It has to do with enjoying the things we eat. We all need fuel to function therefore we have eat every day, so why not make it tasty and blog about it?

      Thanks for reading!!!
      -JCB

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